Offishul Race Rules

General Race Rules

A.1   All entrants in the race, including official pilots and pit crew, must accept and sign the waiver of all responsibility.

1.b   Entry forms, waiver sheets, and entry fees must be submitted one week before the race in order to receive pilot’s wings and other benefits. Last minute entries may forfeit some benefits.

1.c   Sculptures must be people powered. Sails and other non-propulsive energy are allowed.

1.d   Each entry must complete the race to qualify for any race award.

#2   Pit crew must consist of humans only. A D.N.A. sample may be required.

2TB   At least one teddy bear must be on the sculpture at all times.

2a   No pulling or pushing is allowed, except by official pit crew and pilots, using the official push rope only.

2.78   All sculptures must be no more than 8 feet wide while on the road, highway, and freeway.

2½   Your sculpture must not be dangerous or harmful to yourself or to anything else in the world.

2 4/3   Your entry number must be visible on your sculpture. The name of your sculpture should also be visible for the benefit of the spectators, TV crews, magazine writers, Kinetic Kops, and judges.

3.   It is not required to have a sponsor, but a sponsor does help pay the bills.

3.05   During timed competition, no relief pilots are allowed unless specifically authorized by the Consortium.

3.141   You may not start the race until you have passed the official inspection. The following safety equipment must be on board at all times: Coast Guard approved life preservers, a 12-inch by 12-inch warning triangle, a horn, operable brakes, and one paddle or oar per pilot. Each pilot must also have a safety whistle accessible while on the water Kourse.

3.142   Each pilot under the age of 16 must wear a safety helmet while onboard the sculpture, especially while racing.

3a   All special terrain equipment must be on board the sculpture at all times.

4.44   All sculptures must stay on Kourse at all times. An intentional violation will result in a 30 minute penalty and a series of dirty looks. The Kourse is marked with visible check points, and you must pass through all of them.

4f   Anti-Booze Law: Exercise the utmost self-restraint. Alcohol (C₂H₅OH) will not be consumed by pilots or pit crew while racing. An infraction will result in banishment.

4g   The race begins with a “Le Mans” start at low noon. Pit crew and spectators are not to assist pilots at the start. No pushing sculptures from the start. Pilots must be on board and pit crew off the street.

5.   No passing where it would interfere with traffic or your own safety. Slower sculptures must use turnouts or pull off the road. This is a road race; traffic laws and common sense apply.

6n   Coast Guard approved life preservers and your whistle must be worn by all on board during water crossings. Breaking this rule will result in disqualification.

7-11   Remember that the officials are doing the best they can. If things are not going your way, take it personally; they are picking on you.

8.   There will be a 30 minute penalty for a water tow, unless it is done by human power.

8ball   Port Townsend Bay currents are treacherous. Extreme winds, choppy waves, and tides could cancel the water portion, which will then be held inside the marina. Watch out for Giant Crabs and Clam eating people.

8c   High Anxiety Rule: Make sure you can get out of your sculpture in an emergency.

9am   No sniveling, kicking, biting, scratching, or other fisticuffs. Break this rule and you are knocked out!

10.   The Agony of Defeat Rule: You can’t lose unless you complete the race. A sculpture must negotiate the entire Kourse, may not be assisted by any vehicle (except on the water for an emergency), and may not be transported by any vehicle. An infraction of this rule will result in disqualification from the race.

10.10   Mud Rule: You must be through the mud in 15 minutes, or you will have to remove or push your sculpture from the mud to allow other racers access. No napping in the mud! Close of entry to the mud is 4 pm.

11-7   There will be a time penalty of 15 minutes for all infractions of the rules unless otherwise noted.

11.9   In case of sun, the race will be held anyway. The race begins at the sound of the cheap shot, at low noon.

XXX.   The “Because I Said So” Rule: Statement given to anyone who questions Kinetic Authority.

XYZ.   Cheating is not a right, but a privilege. For the glory!